I never was really bullied growing up- I usually was the kid sticking up for the nerds and wimps, and could hold my own even as a girl on the playground. In middle school and high school, I started to speak up for myself, and those I believed in. I was lucky enough to never really be “disliked,” by anyone, and was very popular amongst many social groups. My first job ever was a lab tech at the Science Museum of Minnesota at the tender age of 14- I’ll never forget being paid off of a Best Buy Science Grant. I was an Athletic Varsity Nerd- I played Softball, Hockey, and Soccer, and someone who was on drumline, and in the French Club. The most dramatic thing to happen to me in high school was having Knee Surgery at 16. I was given Oxy, and Vicodin, and warned, “not to get addicted.” I had no interest in drugs- I was an all star athlete and a great student, with a high school sweetheart, and many friends. I was good.
After breaking my ankle during my second D1 Softball practice at the University of Minnesota, I was introduced to Cannabis by my first Caregiver; My own Father. I was getting opioid sick, and my dad couldn’t stand to watch me be physically ill from pain killers. I hit a Volcano Vape, and it relieved my pain better than the multiple Vicodin I had already taken on the way to the hospital- Cannabis was the key my body needed to unlock.
Since 19, I’ve been a DAILY Cannabis User; all while working in healthcare- An industry I have been absolutely in love with and dedicated to since 16, as an intern for the HealthStart Clinics within Saint Paul Public Schools. As a healthcare worker, the topic of Cannabis as Medicine was brought up almost daily, by patients, and practitioners alike. Rather it was my courses thru Saint Paul Fire Dept, or my studies in Kinesiology, and practicing as a Physical Therapy Tech, and Trained EMT, organizing residents and their medications as a group home director coordinator, or, as basic as checking medication interactions as a Patient Services rep in an allergist clinic, Cannabis is something that is possible, to be in Every Body’s Life. There is a Cannabinoid that works best for any body. My newest healthcare adventure is in pharmacy.
The only time I can recall being ostracized for my cannabis use was from my own girlfriends around the time we all turned 21- I became the "Pothead," who was accused of "being too high" to participate in social functions, or be invited out. It broke me; Especially when the Mean Girl ring leader was my own bestfriend from Elementary School. The jealously of our girlfriends asking me to smoke them up after the bar every weekend, and being "trusted" to consult our friend group on cannabis products and use was to much of a threat to her, she chose to destroy my reputation instead- I wasn't "Kayla the Overachiever," anymore... I was Kayla the Pothead. I removed myself from the friend group quietly, but kept my medicine.
The first time I was celebrating for using Cannabis was during the COVID-19 Pandemic in Ann Arbor, MI; Employers there celebrated me being a healthcare worker with an interest in cannabis. Michiganders made me feel welcomed, and included me in all that they knew about cannabinoids. I felt at home.
I have a passion for patient care, and patient advocacy- That’s why I am so disheartened with the harassment I’ve received just from accomplishing the right thing- A Cannabis Registered Designated Caregiver’s Program for Minnesota.
I started Healing Fear Consulting out of spite, when I was told that Minnesota’s Medical Program was receiving inferior, moldy, and lab failing products from States, other than Minnesota. The same products being forced onto Medical Card holding Patients like my own parents- Parents, who my entire life, I saw, grow high quality medical grade cannabis, illegally. That wasn’t fair to me. That made me want to fight for other cannabis home growers, who frankly, are just trying to provide the best quality medicines for themselves, first and foremost- People who are PATIENTS, not Businesses. I wanted to defend the craft these growers were providing, and protect the growers for taking a risk to help patients. That’s community.
Thankfully, at this time, I was living in a state with a fabulous Caregiver Program: Our neighbors East, in Michigan.
This is where I put everything on the line, for my own mental health and feelings- All I ever wanted was for Minnesotans to have a CHOICE on where their Cannabis Medicines came from- I never asked for Nurses, and random social media accounts to harass me for days, and months, because I didn’t “demand” lawmakers add “testing” to the requirements for Homegrown Cannabis Products, and I never physically threatened “Other business owners, because they didn’t agree with me”- and I won’t. I will never demand testing. I would never threaten someone over a difference of opinion. Because, again I am a PATIENT first, then a business. This is all about my healthcare choices, not finances.
As a Patient, if I am giving someone else MY LEGAL RIGHTS, they better be able to represent me, better than I can represent myself. AS A PATIENT, before I assign someone my home grow cultivation rights, I am going to make sure that person’s garden and growing standards are higher than my own- since I will be consuming these products!
As a Citizen Lobbyist pushing for standards within lawmaking, and this program- Why or HOW can I push mandatory testing on home grown cultivation when there are NO labs in Minnesota to test these products? … I’ve never once said I was anti testing. I am not in favor of MANDATORY testing. However, you can’t ship Cannabis across state lines to be tested… so why force it? Let it be between PATIENT, and their Caregiver.
I also didn’t make the final draft of the law- all I provided was notes and bullet points from two community meetings. Legal aides wrote the law, HF3766, and added it as an amedmant to HF4757..
…So, to slander me and question my medical profession credentials OVER THIS is so petty. I didn't want to work in cannabis as a kid- I wanted to be a Physical Therapist, and specialize in Addiction Medicine. (and work with athletes who were addicted to steroids). To go as far as contacting the State of Minnesota about me, is petty. Then to find out I’m being slandered over the fear of “job security,” is even more fishy, and shouldn't be accepted in the cannabis industry.
(But when I’ve expressed this at Minnesota Cannabis Events since this past spring, I’m labeled as “Aggressive,” and “A Bully,” and left out of events, and groups I was previously a supporter and participant of. All because I advocated for the “right thing,” and the “Clique” didn’t approve). Maybe this blog post isn't as abrasive for those same folks?
After meeting with the Office of Cannabis Management this past Wednesday, I’ve been getting harassed, again, over testing, on social media by the SAME account- an account that accuses me of not caring about Patients, and, once again, slandering me, and claiming I don’t have “any credentials.” This account won’t show their face, or even mention who they are to have a real conversation.
I was just trying to find the best cannabis folk for MY patients… Now I have attracted shit flies.
I will never allow disrespect- If that gives someone the reaction they were pushing me for, so be it- I will always speak up, and defend myself against folks that DO NOTHING to make the community better, or, even their own lives. I will defend my name, and my business, until I want to close this thing down and retire. I’m asking my Canna Community- Can I just get a hypothetical hug? I’m exhausted from defending myself and caregivers- Caregivers are the backbone of the Canna Market as a WHOLE, and I plan to continue to advocate FOR THEM, alongside future patient advocacy. I never knew advocating for the right amendments to be properly added to HF100 and Minnesota’s Cannabis Laws, would bring me so much negative attention from within the Cannabis Community, itself. Two RN’s/ Business Owners, whom I attemped to includ in my advocacy, are now “Ghosts,” in my eyes from how they have slandered me; Now a social media account has been non stop posting about me or sending me messages for three days. I barely get paid for consulting- I sure as hell don’t get paid for this harrassment. Where's my respect as a PATIENT first? Not evem as a small business owner...?
If you’ve made it this far in my journal entry, “Thank You.” I care so much about keeping Patients, and Growers safe in this new “legal” industry, and I am truly exhausted from the months of harassment I have dealt with. I am so appreciative of the OCM, fantastic growers, and the wonderful patients I have met along this journey of Healing Fear, The Caregiver Program, and I hope I’ve been able to help one of you. :)
And with that- Happy Sunday, Stay Stoned.
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